I'm a very old and worn out single! Recently, a former work colleague contacted me, and made it known he is interested, etc. It's been so long since a male did this, I'd very nearly forgotten what one looked like! There is a rather large hurdle to our getting together to find out if we like each other outside the workplace. He lives about 2,000 kilometres away. My next phone bill could see me bankrupted. He'll soon be on line, but I'm wondering if enough communication can take place for either of us to make a rational decision regarding future plans (e.g. who moves?) We will be able to see each other for a few days at times, through the magic of flight, but tickets aren't free. Any thoughts or suggestions, or past experience? <BR>Zyph.
Hi Zyph,
If you have a laptop, you can go on skype for less than nine dollars a month in three month blocks, here in Oz. That is unlimited free phone calls on your lap-top, and equally free cam (video calls) if your friend has a PC too.
You can also do proper phone calls on your home phone if you have broadband. In Oz it is called "engin" and costs me nineteen dollars a month. That is free untimed calls to any State in Australia. Also gives me untimed free calls to USA NZ or UK from Oz for twenty cents flag fall. Then untimed at no extra cost. In Canada it might be called "VOiP". Those calls are on fixed landline. . If you have a mobile (cell) phone, you can txt for about 25 cents for about 164 letters per text, here..
Lots of people are single. Daniel was a single. Some of the most important people in the world are single. Girls seem to imagine they are old, Guys always think they are young! Just be yourself, relax and be happy. Keep your Christian principles. . .
Then you can e-mail or snail mail! And post cards and small presents.
Only aim to be a friend, and develop friendships first. In time a trusted friendship could develop into a secure trusting Bible based Relationship. Attend a "Marriage Enrich" seminar. Do the advised reading. eg "Adventist Home" compilation, by Sister E G White.
SDA Counselors at "Marriage Enrich" are fully qualified and confidential. Three out of four friendships have no future. So filter your friendships very carefully. Most older single people have accumulated substantial assets over half a lifetime of frugal living!!!
Consult your fully qualified legal adviser or Solicitor (Oz talk for Lawyer.) Because "Family Law" in Australia could mean after six months at your place, he may own half your house, and if you have a nice automobile he might own that too. Legally it might be two years? But the Family Court may see it as six months. Talk to a properly qualified Lawyer.
Unless he has a lot more assets than you, see a solicitor and draw up a pre-nup. Talk to an older Pastor (or the Pastor's Wife or better still see them together.) Who have counseled couples to a peaceful outcome, during break-up and after divorce. Go to a Magistrates Court and watch half a day of Apprehended Violence (in NSW) applications, and Applications to have AVO's put aside. (All can happen in same court at same time, at a major Courthouse.) Watching a few Court cases costs nothing, and will let you see how quickly Lawyers can syphon off a life-time of careful saving (see I Corinthians 6:1-8.)
Find out your local Women's Refuges, and listen to the Ladies there. Some are run by the SDA Church.
Most older single guys have been divorced, so they have eaten of the "Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil," and know the ropes. If you are a Widow or still single, you are a lamb in the midst of Wolves. An older experienced Pastor who has kept couples together, is a mine of wisdom.
God bless,
Bye for now,
johannes.
And yes, you can get to know someone enough primarily from l/d relationships to make a logical move.